“MOTHER, BEHOLD YOUR SON”

John and Mary

INTRODUCTION

For many people the gospel of John is a special part of the Bible.  It is distinct from the other Gospels in a number of ways.  One of these is its inclusion of seven sayings attributed to Jesus in which he uses the words ‘I am….. ‘  This introduction to attributes which he goes on to claim for himself is powerfully reminiscent of the description that God gives to Moses when asked for a name as is recorded in Exodus Chapter 3. v14.

Nothing like those sayings appears in the other Gospels.  The question is: how did John know about these claims?  For me Mary who stored up so much in her heart is the key.  What I offer here is a possible explanation of how it came about.

IN THE BEGINNING

It was a heavy day that clung on to folk like a sullen child, the sort of day that makes every step laboured and costly.  It was also a day full of expectancy where people looked at the skies wondering when the storm would come to relieve the tension they felt.

These were among the woman’s thoughts as she sat at the fireside staring at the empty grate and shivering despite the heat.  She had travelled up to Jerusalem a few days before and was staying in this house as the guest of her son’s closest friend John. 

She mused on the day thirty three years before when she had given birth to Jesus.  Never would she then have thought that his life would end in a few hours time like this, a Jew crucified by Romans at the behest of his own people.  Mary (that was her name) traced the smoke marks on the chimney breast as she gazed at it lost in thought. 

She remembered that remarkable day when, having finished her household chores she was praying in her favourite corner of the living room in her parents’ house.  Her Father was out working in the fields and her mother had gone to the market.  Mary recalled that the sun streamed through the narrow window high up on the side wall of the house which was meant for ventilation rather than light.  In fact sunlight came through there only during the summer months and then only for an hour or so in the middle of the day.

Her mother claimed at first that her daughter must have fallen asleep and had a dream but Mary knew that wasn’t the case.  She remembered how the light streaming through the little window had suddenly become overwhelming, filling the whole room.  She remembered being amazed but not frightened.

It seemed to Mary that from the midst of the light a figure was emerging who gazed at her and seemed to be able to place thoughts in her mind.  It was from the message imparted to her in that way that Mary gathered she was to become a mother.  Knowing enough about the facts of life as she did, she was puzzled.  Her relationship with Joseph, to whom she was betrothed, had not reached anywhere near a stage where motherhood was even remotely possible she thought. 

Straight-away it was as if her mind was read and a message conveyed in reply ‘The Holy Spirit of God will be Father to the child and so he will be a very special one.’

The whole of Mary’s upbringing and consequently her knowledge of Scripture, flooded her mind and left her with but one thought, “If that is God’s will, then so be it.”

It seemed to Mary that she had given her consent in this way for the whole room was suddenly filled with a light so intense, so deep, so rich in golden and blazing white purity that it would blind or burn her, yet it did neither.  She wanted to reach out and touch it yet she could not and knew that even if she tried, she would take hold of nothing.  There was no sound yet she could hear music but not like anything she had ever heard before.  There were no words yet she heard a message of reassurance and comfort.  She was surrounded, enfolded and at peace.

Just as suddenly as she had been immersed in this light so it began to fade, gently disappearing into the walls and through the window leaving Mary in the familiar room at her prayers and hearing her mother Anne’s voice calling her name, “Mary?” with just the hint of an anxious question to its tone.

As she always did, Mary stored in her heart the events of that day.  It was months later when the fact of her pregnancy was evident and beyond denial that she told Anne what had happened.  She also told Joseph who was initially, and understandably she thought, more sceptical than her mother.

Mary pondered the scorn that some of her acquaintances had heaped upon her.  She also marvelled, as she had done many times before, at how helpful and understanding her cousin Elizabeth had been.  Joseph had married her and smiling to herself Mary recalled the happiness of that day and then she shivered as she reminded herself about this one.

At that moment John’s return with Mary Magdalene brought Mary fully into the present. He told her that crowds had been gathering at Golgotha since dawn.  A triple crucifixion was not common and nobody it seemed wanted to miss out on the spectacle.

Usually a crucifixion could be relied upon to provide entertainment, as some people saw it, for a couple of days.  However, with a major festival coming up, the Romans would take steps to see that the victims didn’t linger, so people were making sure they had good vantage points.  Mary Magdalene said some of their group had gone ahead, so with heavy hearts the three set off joining a steady stream of people moving out of the city towards the hillside.

Month’s later when reflecting on it all, Mary’s recollection pondered on only two things.  One was the grey-headed centurion gazing up at Jesus and saying in amazement, “Surely this man is the Son of God.”  Revelation Mary mused comes at extraordinary times. 

Just as important was her son fixing her with his steady gaze and with his last few shreds of strength telling her to look on John as her son just as he should look on her as his mother.  A few moments later and he had died.  “So it is,” Mary reflected.  “He gazed on me as he came into the world and he did so again as he left it.  And it takes a Roman to see what many Jews cannot.”

DO THIS

“And so this fireside is now my home and John is my son and my protector.  Why is that so important I wonder?” Mary mused.  In the week and months that followed that momentous day many amazing things had happened which she continued to ponder and store up in her heart.  Then suddenly it became clear to her what the point of her being with John was.  It came about because of the question he asked which was in itself a simple one.  What he wondered, had gone on between Mary and Jesus when they had all gone to that wedding at Cana?  John, it seemed, had been too far away to hear.

“Ah,” said Mary, and she explained how she had had what she described as one of her ‘moments.’  Those were times which didn’t happen very often but meant that something important was to be done.  On this particular day the wine had nearly run out and their friends were in danger of being very seriously embarrassed.  So she had asked Jesus to do something about it.

It seemed like an odd request to make. After all, what could a carpenter, however good a preacher he might be, do about a shortage of wine?  “But,” Mary said, “I knew he could put things right and not only that but I knew he should, because now was the right time and the right place.  It wasn’t my decision.  I spoke for Another because I was then the only one who could. 

It was the same feeling and the same voice I had heard thirty years before in Nazareth before he was born which I heard now.  And so I told the servants to do whatever Jesus instructed.  He was not pleased with me.  He addressed me as ‘woman’ just like any other Jewish male would.  But then he saw the look that the voice produced in me and then he knew too that this was the time.  Now there was no going back

Of course I didn’t know how it would all work out.  How it would end on the cross in order to begin again for eternity.  I couldn’t know all that, not then anyway.  So we just looked at each other and he knew. 

He told the servants to fill the jars inside the front door with water, six there were on either side, and then he said they were to fill wine flagons from them. 

Between the filling and the drawing he just stared at the jars and then looked up with his eyes closed.  His lips were moving but I couldn’t hear what he said.  You know the rest.  The wine was superb and the feast became known as the best ever for many years. 

And that, John, is why I am here, I think, so that I can tell you all the things only a mother can know after living with her only son for nearly thirty years.”

BECOMING BREAD

So it was that John received from Mary insights into the way in which Jesus had talked to her during their many conversations often at what might be called their lunchtime break.

“At such times, when there were only two of us, he always called me ‘Mother’ and over the years I came to know when something serious was on his mind from his look  and tone of voice.  I would take his bread, some meat and a piece or two of fruit into the workshop and there he would be perhaps with a piece of wood in one hand and a chisel in the other pouring over a scroll.”

“Mother” he would say.  “What would we do without bread?” 

But on this particular day he said it differently, more slowly and it was definitely a serious question.

“Why do you ask?” I replied.

“Because I know that each day you provide more than enough to keep me well fed and happy but who feeds my soul?”

He put down the wood and the chisel, picked up the scroll and read me a passage.  “Man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord.”  (Deut 8 v3)

“Mother I work to provide us with money to enable you to buy the food that sustains our bodies – but our souls- they need something else – they need bread from above – from the Lord.  They need this scroll – the Word of the Lord.”

“And he gazed at me so intently and his words became almost a whisper.”

“I must become that Word for them.  I must live it out, be what is written.  Oh I know they can hear it read in the Synagogue, even read it for themselves, but they need to see what those words can achieve when they are lived out.  I need to become bread for their souls by the way I live.  The words need to have their home in me.”

“What did you say?” asked John.

“I told him that his work was making more than enough for us to live on and that if he needed more time to study I was sure we would manage.  And he just smiled.  I also said that the Lord’s word and work carried out under his guidance would never let us down or leave us wanting.”

“And then?” John asked.

“And then” said Mary “he kissed my forehead and said he must finish the yoke he was working on because it was needed by the end of the day.  And so I left to go and think over what he had said.”

“Was there anything special you wanted to mull over?” John wondered.

“Only that he had said, ‘I must become’ – in other words he didn’t think he was there yet.   I also remember thinking that this was something he had been pondering for quite a while but now he knew how to make sense of it.”

“What about since then,” asked John.  “Was there anything else?”

Mary thought for a long while and eventually she said, “Well, after that our Shabbat was somehow different.”

John waited and Mary went on.  “We used to have my sisters and their children come to our Shabbat meal because they were both widows and Jesus as an only child regarded their children as his brothers and sisters.  They in turn treated him like an older brother.

Naturally as the oldest male he presided at the Shabbat but whereas before that conversation he had performed his role as a duty properly carried out, now it was much more than that.  It had become almost alive with meaning.  They all noticed it although nobody said anything. 

My sisters told me later that they all found it very moving.  I thought to myself that he was living it out”

WAY, TRUTH AND LIFE

“One night,” Mary said, “I woke up with a start knowing that something was not quite right.  I put my cloak on and went into our main room.  I could see that Jesus was not in his room and that the street door was open.  Outside the ladder was up against the wall and when I went up a few steps I could see Jesus was there on the roof sitting cross-legged and gazing up at the sky.” 

“I asked him very quietly what on earth he was doing.  He whispered to me that he had been reading the Psalms and especially the one that says ‘Oh Lord my God how majestic is your name in all the earth.……. when I look at your heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have established what is man that you are mindful of him, and the Son of man that you care for him?’ ” (Ps 8) 

“I went and sat down beside him there on the roof.  It was cold but the sky was magnificent.  The moon gave us just enough light to be safe but not so much as to obscure the stars which were spread like a canopy of shining jewels.  Anyone seeing us would have thought we were absolutely mad”

“It is possible, John, to feel so close to the majesty of God under such a sky, and that night Jesus and I clearly did.  Then it was almost as if he reached some sort of decision because he asked me if I had ever wondered about life as a kind of journey.”

“ ‘Mother,’ he said, ‘it is the way of it, as though I am set on a path which I can sense but cannot yet quite see.  It is a small path and a narrow one but it runs true.  I mean it is always right with itself because there is only one way which is true and that is also true of our Father’s love for us.’ ”

“I was startled John because it was the first time he had ever used that word ‘Father’ in that way and then after a pause he went on.  ‘I am beginning to see that my life has to be lived out following the way I see before me and it must be a way of love.’ ”

“I don’t know how long we sat there John but dawn was beginning to break when we came down.  Before we did so I took his hand and told him I believed I knew the way of which he spoke.”

“Did he say anything more?” asked John.  “

Mary gazed at her hands and then very slowly she said, “He said, ‘I know it Mother, I know it.’ “Just I know it Mother, I know it.”

THE GATE

“It’s strange but true that carpenters can have one thing more than all the rest that they are really good at.  They can’t tell you why but that’s how it is.  With Joseph it was bowls.  Everybody knew it was a ‘Joseph bowl’ because they really were well made, perfectly shaped and smooth.  With Jesus it was gates.  Whether big or small, his gates were excellent and much sought-after for houses and for barns.”

“One day when I took him his lunch he was gazing at a fairly large gate on which he had hung a scroll.  Although I had gone very quietly he must have sensed me there because he said, ‘That’s what the Father’s word is.  It is the gate to our hearts.  It stands guard over us keeping us safe from the evil thoughts, ideas and influences which constantly seek to invade. The word of God is like the door of the sheepfold which stops the wolf from entering.’  Then he took the scroll down and wound it up, turned to look at me and said, ‘Mother I must become like this scroll.  I must live it and be it so that I become like a gate passed which the wolf cannot get to those who will hear and believe in the word they hear from me.’ “

“And what did you say to that?”  John asked. 

“I think it was something like, Yes Jesus, but not until you’ve had your lunch, and I remember he roared with laughter and kissed my forehead.”

“It was not long after that he went off on a long walk.  He was gone for a while, I remember it was at least two nights and when he came back he was very thoughtful.”

“The next day when I went in with his lunch he was just gazing out of the shop window.  When he heard me he said, ‘Mother, it’s a very hard life out there as a shepherd.  It’s not just about protecting them at night, it’s also about being prepared to go and rescue them when they get stuck or stranded.  Did you know that a shepherd’s voice will be so well known to his flock that he can call his sheep and they will go to him and no one else?  And when they came to him, he will know if they are all there.  They are devoted people and very tough as well.  They regard the loss of even one sheep from the flock as failure and are prepared to risk everything to avoid that happening.’ ”

“I had sat down to listen to him and after a while I asked who he had stayed with.  ‘I went with Elkinah and his brother and I couldn’t have made a better choice.  They have taught me a lot.’  He grinned when he added, ‘I can see now why they think we townsfolk are soft,’ and then far more seriously, ‘A good shepherd will be prepared to lay down his life for the sheep.’ “

“Do you know John that although that was a very hot day I shivered when he said that and I remembered something.”

“Go on” John said.

“I remembered what Simeon said when Joseph and I took Jesus to the Temple to present him on the eighth day.  He told me that one day a sword would pierce my soul.  I remember that and now I know why.”

John waited and eventually Mary continued, “That’s how he came to see himself.  He was the good shepherd and we were the flock.”

The fire crackled in the grate casting long flickering shadows into the room and John marvelled at the quiet grace of his silver-haired companion whose memories he so treasured.

THE VINE

One evening having lit the oil lamps and re-stoked the fire John and Mary settled down after their meal.  It was then that John, having just returned from visiting friends, produced a flagon of wine and poured a cup for each of them.

“Do you recognise it?” John asked and Mary exclaimed in surprise.

“Yes, I do! This is from Capernaum!”

“Indeed!” said John.  “Indeed it is.  I got it especially from the vineyards above the town which used to belong to James but now have passed to his grandson Mark.”

“My” said Mary, “that takes me back to a day when Jesus came in, having visited a customer called James to take some specially prepared supports for his vines, and gave me a bunch of grapes sent to me as a gift from James.  He said ‘Mother, I do believe you have an admirer.’  I told him not to be so silly or so cheeky, but secretly I was quite touched because James was a good and kind man.  The grapes were wonderfully tasty and we shared them with our supper.  It was then that Jesus came out with one of his questions.”

“ ‘What do you think,’ he asked, ‘it feels like to be a grafted vine?’ ”

“Almost without thinking I said that I though it would be very odd at first but then better and better,  Jesus looked at me as if he were puzzled but then said something about supposing it would but he hadn’t been thinking that way.  I asked him to explain.”

“I’m glad you did,” said John “what a very strange question.”

“The way Jesus saw it,” Mary continued, “was that the vine grower has many potential grafts to choose from.  However, having chosen and grafted he will still be quite ruthless with those grafted branches which are not fruitful.”

“Even more than that however, Jesus was interested in roots.  He saw the grafting process as requiring a fresh start which placed faith on the root system that a grafted branch would come to rely on having lost its own.  He described the whole thing to me from the choice of the branches to the graft itself and then the pruning and fruit collection.  Clearly he had studied it all very carefully.”

“ ‘Mother’, he said to me, ‘You know that there are many who choose not to be part of the community who worship our God while others say they do but their actions and attitudes tell a different story.  I believe that our Father sees it just like the vine-dressers.  In our spiritual life there is a vine and all those who profess belief are grafted into that vine.  The vine-dresser then watches and sees that some grafts never really take because they do not bear fruit.  They are pruned away and join those who were not selected in the first place.’ ”

“ ‘I am becoming like that vine.  I will teach God’s word and set his example in my life.  Those who have belief in my teaching will be like branches grafted in.  They can then bear fruit and it is fruit that they can carry with them into our Father’s Kingdom.’ ”

“It is a wonderful picture don’t you think John?  It is one straight out of the vineyards of Capernaum.”

THE LIGHT

Mary had been sitting quietly for some time when she said, “More and more often before that wedding at Cana Jesus was away from home for longer periods teaching and travelling.  His message was very straightforward.  Although they had not met since they were boys, he and his cousin John taught things which complemented each other like, as Jesus once put it, ‘a good tight dove-tail joint.’ ” 

Mary had paused in her story that evening and John could sense that her recollections were coming to some sort of conclusion.  He also felt that she was tiring, as though the efforts and experiences of her life were now at long last taking their toll.

“One afternoon when he came home, he sat gazing at all his tools and equipment as if he were seeing them for the very last time.  Then after we had eaten and evening was drawing in he lit an extra oil lamp and put it on the table we had been using.  ‘Mother,’ he said, ‘what do you see?’ ”

“Over the years, John, I had come to know that the apparently strange questions Jesus sometimes asked were never ever simple or straightforward.  Somehow he managed to see beyond the obvious into another world of meaning; so I took my time.”

“I looked at the light of that lamp, then into it and beyond it.  I don’t know how long I sat there considering that light.  I do know that night had come and that the silence was profound.  It was only broken when Jesus spoke again.”

“ ‘The darkness cannot put out the light no matter how deep or all-surrounding a darkness it may be.  There will be dark days Mother, days which will seem to destroy everything by their blackness and the deeds done in them but the light cannot be put out.  Remember this, God himself created light in the darkness at the Beginning and it has survived, just as his words have survived in the Law and the Prophets.  I have to become the Light to show the way in through the dark places.  There is a world beyond light Mother, and you and I have glimpsed it together.’ ”

“And then it was as if that lamp blazed and its light filled the room just as it had all those years before in my parent’s home.  It was a week later that we went to the wedding at Cana.”

THE RESSURECTION

“Did you see Jesus after he was risen?”  John asked the question very quietly and Mary smiled almost as if treasuring the memory so much that she was reluctant to give it up.

“Just once,” she replied.  “Just the once.  Just before you all saw him taken up it was.  He said he had come to tell me that he was going to leave.

“ ‘Mother,’ he said. ‘You know that the cross was not the end and now you see that resurrection is a reality and that life continues and will continue where I am going.  You also know that you will see me again in the Kingdom to which I will go and that I will be there to greet you when it is your time to come and join me.  I have become the Resurrection for those who believe.  I have become Life for them.  Death must be faced but it no longer has any power to hold those who believe and live out their faith.’ ”

“And then he took my hands in his and kissed my forehead and was gone.”

Mary suddenly appeared to John to have become the old lady she was in reality and he realised that through all her story telling she had appeared to him to be much younger than she was.  It was almost as if, he thought to himself, the words, the stories she had told had had the power to produce vitality in the teller.

“Yes John,” Mary said,” The words are very, very powerful just like the One whose story they tell.”

EPILOGUE

Mary the mother of Jesus is a wonderful example of motherhood, of steadfastness in adversity and of obedience before God.  She also shows us how to deal with the unexpected by seeing what it has to teach us.  That little phrase which tells us that Mary stored things up in her heart is very salutary.  Especially that is so in an age which looks for instant reactions and decisions.

Whether the idea of Mary contributing her recollections to aid John in his Gospel writing appeals to us or not nevertheless the time the two spent in conversation must had been very compelling.  Hopefully my comments on it will aid your own meditation.

                                                                                                         A J E Kidd Copyright 2016